Sym massage
Joe kidding colorbunny2
Joe kidding
Joe kidding starcolor

But Hot Pix RIGHT?

I’ve been working

on this for a coupla weeks now. When you came over last night, I had second thoughts about finishing it and giving it to you. But when I examined my motives and found they were only 20% self-serving & selfish and 80% filial & Christianic, those odds were good enough for me. They may not be enough for you and, of course, that’s okay, if not, it never goes past the masseuse/client dynamic. 

When you came over a back then, the pain of the turn this tortuous little triangle was taking—and the dread of a future you saw coming—was all over you. Then, as you were talking, I saw you—but not the you I know.*

Then last night, you looked so anguished. What you were afraid of had come to pass and I really think you were blindsided by how much it hurt. You’re pretty consistent with rebuffing about 1/-2/3 of my observations, but last night your head and posture kept lowering and your voice became harder to hear as you quietly agreed with every one.

*more on that later

Before, I kept wondering what I could do to help. I just wanted something nice. Like really nice. But even if I had the money I wouldn’t know what to give you. But I do have all…this…inside and it’d be nice to get all that out (20%)  and give it to someone who could actually benefit from it (80%).

I did a few nice things for Architect, wrote him a note or two, turned my living room into a sex playground. But we played our Top/Bottom, Daddy/Boy roles so well and for so long I think it prevented us from having any kind of truly intimate friendship or real love, though we were friends and I now realize we did love each other. I also see that wall starting to come down when Kimber died. But then he did.

So for 12 and 8 years, neither of my 2 reg Tops ever really allowed me to do “boyfriend” stuff for them that didn’t involve nudity or perversion. Yeah, pre-fuck catching up and post-coital pillow talk, sure. And I was always extremely kind to them and catered to them. But it never had the component this has.

I'm talking too much Better wrap this up quick!